Stop Saying What They Want to Hear

Man following a woman and shouting in a bull horn what he thinks she wants to hear

I don’t get incels – those angry men who attack women because no one wants to sleep with them.

Incels is an idiotic term because the word “involuntary” implies they have no control over their destiny and attractiveness to women.

There is a better term…. Neediness.

Or “Nedcels” – Needlessly Celibate..

Because it’s the neediness that frustrates their chances of attracting and meeting the woman to create the relationship they too strongly desire (wanting it too bad is also an issue which I won’t discuss here).

In my 20s I had stretches where I sometimes became a NedCel.

My neediness led me to twisty myself in pretzels and always try to say what I thought the girl who caught my eye wanted to hear.

And it’s inauthentic… and turned them off…

Until I learned to be myself and not really care about trying to say what they want to hear.. but rather say it as it is.. and either they are attracted or repelled.

In either case it’s a win-win…

If attracted..great.. if repelled .. also good because we didn’t waste our time, energy and ultimately peace of mind.

So what does this have to do with Business?

Everything if you are in the business of selling to customers.

Because neediness will kill your business.

Ben Settle, one of the best email marketing experts today, relates neediness to Cat Fish Bait and how it stinks up an entire room because of its rancid smell.

When you’re needy, you suconsciously “stink up” the conversation and make the prospect or customer reluctant to buy.

And a sure sign of neediness especially for consultants and coaches is to blow smoke up a client’s rear end and only tell them what they want to hear.

You don’t have to be a jerk but better to be clear, direct and let them know you are there for them as the partner to help increase their clarity, confidence, and capability to get the results they want – and be their accountability partner to get it done.

Now that’s being a true “wingman.”


P.S. I work with service business owners who started the business to have a better life, only to find themselves falling short and then getting frustrated by the broken promises and lack of results when they sought help elsewhere.

That’s when they find me and I show them exactly what path to take when investing their time and money in their business, so they can live the life they want.

We do it through 1;1 consultations, group master round tables and workshops and other collaborations whose insights are 100% tailored to them and which can easily be implemented.

But don’t take my word for it, find out more by clicking here to check out our different services and resources.